Secure in the Knowledge

Recently someone very special to my friend went home to be with Jesus. As I prayed and studied God's word I was reminded how God knew us even before our birth and He knows the number of hairs on our head and the time when our life here on earth will end. There is a plan for our life and it is a comfort to know that God is indeed in control. In the last few years my life has changed so very much. My mom went on to live in glory with our Heavenly Father, and my granmother just joined her within the last few months. I used to feel this immense sense of loss and the desire to want just one more hello or one more hug good-bye. It is especially hard when you don't get a chance to say good-bye. I was left feeling like I needed to "do" something. I was reminded by something I read in the bible, that one day soon I will get that very chance to see my mom, and my grandmother. Having the assurance that through my relationship with Christ I will see so many grand things when I get to heaven. Thank you my loving Father, for dieing on the cross and giving me a chance at eternal life right there with you. What a wonderful gift. This gift is offerred to anyone who wants to accept the invitation.

A Tiny New Creation

Just a few days ago a wonderful and beautiful little baby boy came into this world. He came very early, just about three months before his due date. He weighed less than 2 pounds and I know that his birth is an example of one of God's miracles. One amazing part of his story is that since his birth there has been a constant growth in the amount of people praying for this little boy. I have watched each day as people have learned of this baby and his battle to grow strong the numbers of prayer warriors has continued to increase. People from all over the United States are banding together to pray. Some who have yet to meet this tiny baby or his parents. Others who are grandma's and grandpa's, aunts and uncles, and cousins. They love this baby simply because he is God's creation. What an awesome knowledge to know that God is there and hearing our prayers. When we have a personal realtionship with God, we are given so many wonderful gifts. The family of God is limitless and full of blessings.

Taking time!

I get caught up and to busy sometimes and I miss out on the really good stuff. By the good stuff... I mean- laughter, smiles, fun, and spending time with the people I love the most. Moments and memories can be gone before we know it. Those are things that you can't get back. This weekend has been unforgetable. I was blessed by getting to hang out with four very important people this weekend. Four amazing young woman who I am proud to call my daughters. Thanks for being exactly who you are!

Encouragement

When do you feel like you need the most encouragement? Sometimes we go through our daily lives and feel like we are unloved and unnoticed. But God is watching and He sees what we are doing and loves us every step of the way. He offers us encouragement in so many ways. His word is a wonderful source of uplifting, loving, and soothing encouragement. Paul talks about this very thing in 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17, he says; May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who has loved us and given us everlasting comfort and hope which we don't deserve, comfort your hearts with all comfort, and help you in every good thing you say and do. We can depend on God to lift us up when we need it the most. Romans 15:5 directs us to live in harmony with others, to have a Christ like attitude toward others, and then we can praise the Lord together in one voice. As God fills our hearts with His love we are in turn to share that love. In other words we are to share the encouragement God gives us with people around us. We are to lift each other up. I am so thankful that my Heavenly Father is there when I need Him the most. I know that He will never leave me and will always love me. What a gift He has given us!

The gift of forgiveness.

I love the idea that when we ask God for forgiveness he grants us that gift. He does not hold a grudge and allows us a fresh start. A clean slate. He does not keep me trapped in the past expecting me to prove to Him that I have changed or that I really meant it when I said that I was sorry. I know that God expects me to have Christ like behavior. To treat others as I would like to be treated. It is very hard to let go and give someone a new start. It's difficult to let our guard down. But how can we know for sure if things have changed if we continue to find that person guilty based on assumption or past experience.

God has a purpose for us. He started the story in Genesis and you can find out what happens at the end in the book of Revelation. I find great comfort knowing that He has a plan. He created a wonderful, glorious world from darkness. I thank God for His gifts. The gift of sunshine as you gaze at the sky at the end of a rainy day. The strong smell of pine as you stand among the trees in a forest. The feel of cold clean snow as it falls from the sky. The cry of a newborn baby as it enters the world reassuring us of life. The feeling of warmness that spreads over your heart when someone you love hugs you. God is generous in His love for us. I stand amazed at the glory of His love for me.

New beginnings!

For almost a year now I have been active with New Life Ministries. You can check out their web site yourself at http://newlife.com. When I first visited the site I was in so much pain and I was looking for a way to deal with so many issues. I found the message boards there and I was able to connect with other people who were hurting as well. I began emailing and posting to the message boards. I was also lucky to find people who were further down the road on the way to recovery. From this collection of people I received solid Godly advice. I also met a wonderful friend and throughout the last year we have developed an awesome friendship. I was in a place in my life where I felt I was unlovable. But God brought this tremendous person into my life and through her I have learned that I am a valuable person, created by God just as he intended me to be. This past summer I went to a workshop in Anderson Indiana. It was one of the most powerful events I have attended. When I got to Indiana I was ready to give up on myself and on some very important relationships in my life. As the hours went by and I listened to Steve Arterburn talk, my out look on life began to change. During the counseling sessions, I found love and support from complete strangers. I learned that God loves me and He is there for me even in my darkest hours. I learned how important it is to deal with the past hurts of my life. The only way for me to move forward was to make the choice to begin the healing process. The seminar was called "Healing is a Choice", I would recommend this workshop to anyone who is struggling in their life and looking for answers. I also got involved with New Life Ministries small group coaching. It is a small group of people along with a group coach who communicate by phone once a week. Our topic was "Boundaries". We learned about "Boundaries" through written lessons and applying these concepts in our daily lives. We learned how to include healthy boundaries in our daily lives. We spent time each week in prayer and sharing our experiences and finding new ways to approach the difficulties in our relationships. Our group coach helped us get to know ourselves and each other. He also showed me that it is safe to share my heart with someone even though when I tried this in the past it brought me nothing but pain. The coaching is offered as a group activity or individually. I urge you to consider giving this a try if you find you need someone to talk to. I continue to use the resources of New Life Ministries, be it books, cd's, the radio broadcasts, group coaching or visiting the message boards. In the past year God has given me the gift of new friendships and a new beginning. What an awesome God is He.

What are we entitled to?

When my needs are not met I react in several different ways. Sometimes I get sad, other times I feel frustrated. There are those occassions when I feel angry. Lately I seem to be alot more angry. Even though I have desires and needs, I don't have the right to be angry when I don't get what I think I should. Matthew 6:33 shows us what our true needs are. This scripture points out that our real needs are spirtitual. Yes it's important to our daily survival that we have the basics; a roof over our head, food to eat, and clothing to wear. But the most important need we have is to have a personal relationship with Jesus. Once we choose to turn our lives over to Jesus and look to Him to meet our needs, we can then be free from the struggle of expecting others around us to fill all those empty spaces in our lives and in our hearts. When I become angry because someone has not met my expectation, I have choosen a path that leads to more disappointment and hurt for me. There is also a very real possibility that my anger has hurt someone with my words or actions.

Feelings can be emotional!

Today I experienced so many different emotions in such a short period of time I felt dizzy. I did not realize how exhausting in can be to "feel". I guess in the past I have avoided feelings. It was easier to just ignore them, than to explore what was happening inside myself. I started with happiness, went onto being sad, next was defeat, then frustration, and continued to just being plain confused. Lucky for me I finished with finding calmness and security in the arms of Jesus. I learned a valuable lesson today. It's ok to recognize our emotions and to work through them.

Christ Centered Forgiveness

The deeper I go into the subject of forgiveness the more I am beginning to realize I not only need to forgive others but ask others to forgive me. When we hurt or wound people with our words or actions, it can be difficult to admit that we are responsible for those wounds. I am finding that I need to work on apologizing for my behavior. I get so caught up in myself that I miss what the other person might be feeling. Sometimes, maybe even often, it is hard to express love to someone that has hurt us, or even to someone we may have hurt. Christ centered love and forgiveness is the key. I believe God had a very awesome message for me. Last week I was asked if I would like to watch a video on the subject of forgiveness. Even prior to agreeing to watch that video I felt led to buy a book. Turns out both the video and the book was the work of Dr. David Stoop, PH.D. When I received the book and started reading it, I found that it was on the same message he offered in the video. In the book by Dr. David Stoop, "Forgiving the Unforgivable", he brings home a very important fact. Forgiveness that is anything other than Christ centered is not an option. It can be difficult to face the reality and the responsibility when we offend someone. As I was learning about how to forgive those that have hurt me, I became very aware of the fact I need to learn to ask others for their forgiveness. Desmond Tutu said, "Without forgiveness, there is no future." I have challenged myself to work on being more aware of my choices and how they effect others. When I become aware that I have offended someone I need to apologize and tell them how sorry I am that my words caused them pain.

Cleansing of the Heart

I am consumed lately about why it is difficult to forgive those that we love the most. I have been hung up about what I need from the other person in order to forgive them. Once again I am reminded that my forgiving someone is not dependent upon their behavior or their actions. I am still struggeling with my heart about giving this burden to God. For the last year I have wished that this someone special in my life would come to me and apologize and tell me that he was sorry for his behavior. That may never happen. I need to forgive him even if he never comes to apologize to me about this issue. In order to be free and ready to move forward I need to be able to let go. Forgive as God has forgiven me. Letting go does not mean your going to forget the hurt. The hurt may even resurface later because of something else you experience. As I was reading in the book of Matthew God's clear on this matter. To be spiritually healthy we need to forgive those who hurt us.

Denial

Going from being hurt to being angry can be a very short trip. Rather than express my hurt recently I went straight to being angry. Hurt was not a recognizable emotion for me when I was growing up. There was not anyone to model that behavior. Instead anger was what I experienced. Or another reaction I experienced as a child was watching someone hold the hurt inside denying there was a problem. I think we can easily fall into the trap of reinacting our childhoods. The longer we stuff our emotions the more dangerous the outcome. Whether we react in anger or deny our hurt feelings the think the cycle can continue. Both behaviors can be damaging to a relationship. We tend to pull away from each other and grow apart. I wish now that I had been able to share my hurt, instead of reacting in anger. Whether we stuff it or blow up we arrive at the same place..... isolation.

Changes of the Heart.

I overlooked something yesterday. I have prayed that God would change my heart. In the whole process of changing my heart, I hoped that good things would come in relationships in my life. I had all these grand ideas of exactly what changes I wanted to take place in the other person. I felt that in order for the relationship to get better, certain behaviors of the other person would need to be different. I would need to see, get or feel those exact things. What was I thinking? The only person I am responsible for is me. The only person I can change is me. Now through changing myself it does allow for change in others. I believe with my heart that by doing things in new ways and allowing God to work in my heart, it can result in people around me changing their behavior. By gaining respect for myself, by settting boundaries and learning to trust God when he directs me, I know good things can happen. Yesterday I almost missed out on feeling the joy and happiness I had been hoping for. I was busy wanting my way and expecting the worst and when this person showed me love and kindness I took it for granted. It took talking to someone very wise and who has a heart for God, to help me see what I had missed. After talking with my friend, I went and thanked my husband for showing me kindness, for putting me first and for showing me love. Thank you God for hearing my prayers and for teaching me such a valuable lesson. I'm going to be watching more carefully so I don't miss out the next time you send a blessing my way.

We all have a purpose!

Recently I was reading and came across a wonderful passage. It talked about how when God created us he had a purpose in mind for each of us. How God left no detail to chance. He planned it all for His purpose. Nothing in our life is arbitrary. It's all for a purpose. When I think about my life in those terms, I realize how much God loves me. I feel comfort knowing that I was concieved in the mind of God. Someone asked me recently what I wanted to do in my future. I want to serve God and to use my every experience for His Glory. I believe that even the sorrows and pain in our lives can be turned into something positive.

More on Forgiveness

As I continue to learn more about forgiveness I came across something very important. As I read and study I'm finding that I could pass on my unforgiveness to others around me. I could easily teach my children the wrong things. If I hold onto bitterness and anger I could convey to others around me the wrong message. I don't want to do that. I want to grow and I believe the way to do that is to forgive, not only others but myself.

Forgiveness

This subject is a difficult one for me to address. I have carried bitterness and anger over choices other people have made in my life. I have learned through godly counsel that I can't change that other person, I only have the ability to change myself. So today I started a book on Forgiveness. Someone very special to me gave me this book. I know just from reading the first few pages God has something wonderful in store for me. As I finish that book I hope to share more with you. The book is called How to Conquer Unforgiveness by Jerold Potter. I pray for wisdom as I read this short little book. I know God has something special planned for me.